Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Of course, this tale did not have a happy ending, as the young man pined away for his own image so much that the gods at last changed him into a flower. And there is an underlying misery to the tale of one with narcissistic personality disorder: the narcissism actually covers up deep insecurities and feelings of being unloved.

People with this disorder:

• Are self-centered
• Will take advantage of and manipulate others for their own gain
• Must constantly be admired or paid attention to
• Exaggerate their achievements and abilities, and set unrealistic objectives for themselves and, sometimes, for other people
• Feel entitled to be treated in a different (better) way than everybody else
• Are easily hurt but rarely show it

There are other traits that go along with the narcissistic personality disorder, too. The person will often express fantasies about possessing unlimited power, success, or sexual attractiveness. The person will try to convince others that s/he, and only s/he, can bring about some kind of Utopia for all people. They will find it difficult to sympathize or empathize with the perspectives or feelings of others unless they happen to share them. They can be insufferably arrogant, have no sense of humor about themselves, and be hypersensitive or outraged about real or imagined criticism. Everything they say is gold, and everything that one who disagrees with them says is garbage.

Narcissistic personality disorder should not be mistaken for authentic self-confidence or healthy self-love; but at the same time, those positive traits should not be mistaken for the disorder, either. Unfortunately, in our society they are often mistaken for each other, as so many of our politicians, Hollywood professionals, and pop music stars make all too clear. Then again, as Hall of Fame pitcher Dizzy Dean said, "It ain't bragging if what you say is true."

Treatment For Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Remember that the person with the disorder actually has a very fragile ego and feels unloved or unwanted. So, if you know and care about this person, show them how much you care about them in ways that do not play into their narcissism. For instance, invite them to go out and do something with you, but don't give in to any of their self-centered demands or manipulations; if this makes them mad, ignore their tantrum.

If you can handle a lot of backlash for a while, poke fun at them in a friendly, bantering way, until they start becoming more able to laugh at themselves. If they can laugh at themselves, they are letting down their guard and this will weaken the power of the disorder.

It is useless trying to reason with them when you know they are wrong. Instead, try to figure out how you can quietly show them that they are wrong about something.

When you criticize them, always praise them first. For instance, if they have written mediocre poetry that they think is as good as Shakespeare, first tell them what you like about the poetry before you point out how it could be better.

Ultimately, narcissistic personality disorder can be treated by getting a person to see that self-love is not self-centered.

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